Excerpt from Tripping in the Rockaways

“I’m going to the bathroom” I tell Joe and Andrew, who are gawking at the sparkling sand that sifts though their fingers. They nod at me mindlessly. I slip on my sandals and float to the boardwalk, where I am consumed by color. The soaring roller coasters and neon signs from the hotdog and ice-cream stands create fireworks across the dark planes of my pupils. 

People rush around me in a flurry of flaky skin, but I continue to float methodically across the pulsing boardwalk until I reach the women’s restroom, where the pinks and blues are drained from my eyes, leaving only a stale gray. I stand in line and count the freckles on my arm until the bathroom attendant shoves me into a slippery stall. 

By the time I emerge, the line has doubled and so has the muddied water that coats the tiles and sloshes around in my sandals. I wash my hands at the sink and the grime hisses at me as it’s inhaled by the drain. My fingers drip off my hands with clumps of loose hair and sunscreen. I turn off the faucet and watch the dirtied water spin dizzily down until it burps in satisfaction.

I look over my shoulder at the growing line of women, where every eye duplicates and turns its attention towards me. I wonder if they know I’m tripping. A chubby pre-teen in a pink bikini folds her arms and glares at me, her whole body squirming with grains of sand and disapproval. She knows.

I look at my reflection in the mirror.

My face flirts with me, splits in half, and merges together again. I blink and watch my eyelids peel back, exposing veins that swim in pools of eggshell. I blink again. My eyes have shrunk to the size of peas, engulfed in patches of sunburn. Dead skin and freckles crawl around my face. I bring my hand to my cheek to stop the migration, but the rosy skin twists around the pads of my fingers. I open my mouth, where calcium deposits quiver to the beat of a boardwalk boombox. The splotches of white dance across my yellowed teeth. 

I lean forward and my reflection leans back. 

“NEXT!” screams the bathroom attendant, pulling me out of my decent. I quickly dry off my hands and take one last look at my reflection.

She winks at me.